Welcome To My Personal Hell

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Decisions are my achilles heel. I come from a family of indecisive people pleasers. My chosen life partner is similarly inclined. Choosing what to have for dinner is an hours long game of hot-potato. Does everyone feel this way? It’s something we are actively working on. We close our eyes in the grocery store aisle and try to choose before¬†we get crushed under a the weight of spicy v.s. sweet, local organic v.s. cheap generic, sliced v.s whole pickles.

I recently learned about mathematical decision making. The two things that make me most uncomfortable, together at last.

I decided to lean in.

This blog is the product of leaning in to what makes me uncomfortable. Stewing in it, studying it, carefully pulling it apart by the seams and wearing it like a costume. Maybe in this way I can become a decisive person.

I imagine this is how the creators of Sharknado felt.

I stumbled into nonprofits and fundraising in 2010. I knew it wasn’t a perfect fit. Since then I’ve been itching for new challenges. I’ve looked down many paths and, not knowing which way to go, just stayed put!

For 8 years, I’ve thought about going back to school, changing course, but there are so many options and ultimately, it’s safer and easier to do nothing. I’ve just been digging deeper into my cozy rut.

A little over a year ago, I started to externalize my internal struggles with indecision. First, in the form of a journal, then work with friends and mentors. I’ve learned that I’m extrinsically motivated, and need to make big public commitments as part of my change process.

So, welcome to my public processing forum. I’ll be using this platform to work through my career pivot and exploring other things that make me uncomfortable, like choices and math. On this blog, I’ll explore and test decision-making strategies and share my research on various career pivot options. Some of what I write will not be relevant. In which case, it’s not for you.